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Monday, February 1, 2016

Even Jesus Withdrew



"Jesus withdrew..." (see Mark 3:7).

I went to "building church" (that's what my kids call it) yesterday.  Actually, I even led worship and preached at "building church" yesterday.  It was exhausting.  At some point I realized that it had been a long time since I'd had a Sunday like that. 

You know, one of those typical pastor family kinds of Sundays when you wake up and desperately try to encourage the family to quickly "get ready for church," but you eventually give up and tell your fifteen year old son that he looks fine in his dress pants and Olivet t-shirt...

Or one of those typical pastor family kinds of Sundays when you show up to do pulpit supply and your husband is introduced as the one who is filling in for the pastor who is out of town, and you are introduced as his wife, and you just can't bring yourself to correct these sweet people, so you watch as they figure it out about halfway through the sermon... and then you laugh, later, when he has to sign the check that was written out to him...

Or one of those typical pastor family kinds of Sundays when your five year old decides she would rather sit on the platform with you, with her arms crossed and a pout on her face... and her dress tucked into her tights... and for a brief moment you consider whether a mother of a Kindergartner can actually be called into ministry or not... but just briefly... just... briefly...

Or one of those typical pastor family kinds of Sundays when you really thought you were hot when you left the house, but you actually hate the video...

So... yeah...

It had been a long time, but I guess I hadn't stopped to think too much about it.  In recent days, there has been pressure for us to return to the world of typical "building church".  My kids have been threatened with the possibility of losing their quiz eligibility at higher levels of competition if we don't get their butts in a Nazarene youth group soon.  Turns out it doesn't matter if your dad is an ordained elder.  There are rules for just how Nazarene you have to be, and we haven't met them well.  But we will.  Heaven forbid two of the five best quizzers in our area should lose their eligibility.  I guess people will only be patient with the healing process for so long.  As it turns out, six months is apparently all the time you get.

I'm really trying not to be bitter or angry or over the top about this.  In fact (and I hope you find this funny), I have just about had it with David, today.  Enough of the Psalms about enemies and adversaries, attacks and misery.  That stuff has taken its toll, but it has to end somewhere.

I do not feel ready for re-entry.  But sometimes... scratch that... often, it's not about me.

L.

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