"Jesus
withdrew..." (see Mark 3:7).
I went to "building church" (that's what my kids
call it) yesterday. Actually, I even led
worship and preached at "building church" yesterday. It was exhausting. At some point I realized that it had been a
long time since I'd had a Sunday like that.
You know, one of those typical pastor family kinds of
Sundays when you wake up and desperately try to encourage the family to quickly
"get ready for church," but you eventually give up and tell your
fifteen year old son that he looks fine in his dress pants and Olivet t-shirt...
Or one of those typical pastor family kinds of Sundays when
you show up to do pulpit supply and your husband is introduced as the one who
is filling in for the pastor who is out of town, and you are introduced as his
wife, and you just can't bring yourself to correct these sweet people, so you
watch as they figure it out about halfway through the sermon... and then you
laugh, later, when he has to sign the check that was written out to him...
Or one of those typical pastor family kinds of Sundays when
your five year old decides she would rather sit on the platform with you, with
her arms crossed and a pout on her face... and her dress tucked into her
tights... and for a brief moment you consider whether a mother of a Kindergartner can actually be called into ministry or not... but just
briefly... just... briefly...
Or one of those typical pastor family kinds of Sundays when
you really thought you were hot when you left the house, but you actually hate
the video...
So... yeah...
It had been a long time, but I guess I hadn't stopped to
think too much about it. In recent days,
there has been pressure for us to return to the world of typical "building
church". My kids have been
threatened with the possibility of losing their quiz eligibility at higher
levels of competition if we don't get their butts in a Nazarene youth group
soon. Turns out it doesn't matter if
your dad is an ordained elder. There are
rules for just how Nazarene you have to be, and we haven't met them well. But we will.
Heaven forbid two of the five best quizzers in our area should lose
their eligibility. I guess people will
only be patient with the healing process for so long. As it turns out, six months is apparently all
the time you get.
I'm really trying not to be bitter or angry or over the top
about this. In fact (and I hope you find
this funny), I have just about had it with David, today. Enough of the Psalms about enemies and
adversaries, attacks and misery. That
stuff has taken its toll, but it has to end somewhere.
I do not feel ready for re-entry. But sometimes... scratch that... often, it's not about me.
L.
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