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Thursday, February 25, 2016

Confession: I Wish I Knew Everything

And I don't like people to tell me that I am incapable of anything.

And I am sort of a control freak.

I've been reading The Uncontrolling Love of God for my current class.  I was going to read it, anyway, but this worked out really well, because sometimes I get into this pattern of life where all I ever do is read, so it's nice that I was able to read this one concurrently for business and pleasure.

I'm not ready to give a complete review yet, because I still have one more chapter to go, and I think it is going to be an important one.  However, I like the idea of an uncontrolling God.  I like a God who gives genuine free will.  I am slightly concerned that I might like a God who doesn't tell me what to do.  I like I Corinthians 6:12a way too much:

"I have the right to do anything..." (NIV).

I don't like the next part so much:

"But not everything is beneficial" (NIV).

Sometimes I have to admit that I don't even know the difference between what is beneficial and what is not, and that's pretty hard for someone who often... legitimately... does know!  I keep coming back to the idea that maybe I should do whatever is most loving, most redemptive, most others focused, etc.  And that works out really well until there are multiple options that are most loving or most redemptive for different people! 

I read Mark 4:33-34, today:

"With many similar parables Jesus spoke the word to them, as much as they could understand.  He did not say anything to them without using a parable. But when he was alone with his own disciples, he explained everything" (NIV).

I like stories... a lot.  I like parables, too.  But sometimes I wish Jesus would explain everything to me, because trying to figure it all out can be exhausting...  really, really exhausting...  Yep.  I'm exhausted.  Which is sort of ironic, since I've only been awake for a couple of hours... after being asleep for a few hours... after being awake all night long...  OK, maybe it's not that ironic, after all.

There's going to be a "part two" to this, but in the spirit of Thursday Theology, let's just say, for a moment, that we all agree that we have an uncontrolling God (I know we don't all agree, but role play with me, here).  What do we do in the circumstances where we wish God was in control?  You know, especially the stuff we can't figure out.  Do we throw up our hands and accept that God is doing everything that God can do, and that is enough?  Because I think this paints a picture of a God we can love and trust to be a good, loving God, but I think it also makes some circumstances seem pretty hopeless.  Is it a worthwhile trade-off?  God is perfectly good and loving, but life sucks sometimes?   

Feel free to dialogue with me.  I'm thinking out loud...


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