Shut Up and Speak Grace

Perennially, the story of Elijah in hiding is one of my favorites.  I’m not sure what it says about me that I derive a sense of peace from a narrative about a man who is running for his life—from isolation and wind and earthquake and fire:   

I Kings 19:11-12, “He said, ‘Go out and stand on the mountain before the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.’ Now there was a great wind, so strong that it was splitting mountains and breaking rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of sheer silence.”

If I’m honest, of course, it is the “sound of sheer silence” and the journey that follows which actually draw me back to these words, time and time again.  Somehow, this underscores the point that it is neither the volume of words we speak nor the capacity for extensive dramatic flair that actually matter… quality over quantity…  but, what defines the quality of our speech?   

Ephesians 4:25 and 29 read, “So then, putting away falsehood, let all of us speak the truth to our neighbors, for we are members of one another… Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear” (NRSV).

“Speak truth,” is fairly common jargon (if not practice) in Christian circles, but I hate how this phrase is often conflated with the concept of passing judgment.  What if speaking truth was more about being honest about who we are than putting others in their places?  What if speaking truth was more confessional than confrontational?  What if truth offered the very grace our people (that’s everybody… “members of one another”) need—building up by sharing our humanity as opposed to tearing down by spreading lies… about ourselves?

 
L.

People Pleasing

Galatians 1:10, "Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ" (NIV).

Well, there's nothing like Scripture to smack you in the face first thing in the morning.

If you don't know me (or my family) personally, you have no idea how many times I have heard this verse quoted over the past nine months.  Thank you quiz world.  You see, Galatians 1:10 is the first memory verse in this year's quiz material.  My oldest three children have it memorized.  Many of their friends have it memorized.  Dozens of times, I have sat behind a table and announced, "Question number 11 is a quote question, question number 11 coming, question.  Quote Galatians, Chapter 1, Verse 10." 

An entire school year has passed, and it was not until this reading that it occurred to me that this verse is speaking to me.  I suppose this might be further proof that Scripture is, indeed, a collection of living words and that there is great value in reading (and hearing) the same things over and over again, even ad nauseam...   

The truth is, I don't want this Scripture to speak to me.  Seriously, has this ship not sailed?

But also, this quote:

"At least one day in every seven... Stay home, not because you are sick but because you are well.  Talk someone you love into being well with you.  Take a nap, a walk, an hour for lunch.  Test the premise that you are worth more than you can produce - that even if you spent one whole day of being good for nothing you would still be precious in God's sight.  And when you get anxious because you are convinced that this is not so - remember that your conviction is not required.  This is a commandment.  Your worth has already been established..." -Barbara Brown Taylor

This is really difficult for me.  I have come to measure my days by how productive I have been, and I compete with myself on a regular basis to do more... to be more.  I hate to disappoint to a degree that it has become an unhealthy driving force.  I thought I had kicked it some years back.  Apparently old habits die hard.

But I know what it is to have healthy rhythms.  I have lived this chapter before.  Interestingly, when I put myself in the best position to please God, I often find that the people I love are happiest, as well. 

I Kings 18:21b, “How long will you waver between two opinions? If the Lord is God, follow him..." (NIV).

Following...

L.

It cannot be about me... and my agenda...

At this stage in my life, how can I possibly need this reminder... still...  Good grief!

This morning (well, afternoon, but it felt like morning, since I slept for a reasonable number of hours, last night, after finally just giving up on anxiety in exchange for complete and total exhaustion), I was met with this quote from C.S. Lewis,

"It comes the very moment you wake up each morning.  All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals.  And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving them all back; in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that other, larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in.  And so on, all day.  Standing back from all your natural fussings and frettings; coming in out of the wind."

Oh, the wind and wild animals...

I've always liked the story of Elijah's flight to Horeb (I Kings 19).  I'm not really sure why.  If you stop to think about it long enough, it's actually pretty awful.  Elijah is fleeing for his life, because the Israelites have rejected God's covenant, torn down the altars, and killed all of the prophets, except Elijah, who they are now trying to kill (see v. 10).  That's not the part I like, though.  The part I like comes next:

"The Lord said, 'Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.' Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake.  After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.  When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave" (v. 11-13, NIV).

I like the part where God shows up.

Oh, the wind and wild animals...  Oh, the wind (again) and the earthquake and the fire...

"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it" (John 1:5, NIV).

Oh, the wind and wild animals...  Oh, the wind (again) and the earthquake and the fire...  Oh, the darkness...  My darkness has been... well... dark...

But...

"The Lord is trustworthy in all he promises and faithful in all he does" (Psalm 145:13b, NIV).

The chances that I will ever wake up capable of accomplishing whatever I want are slim to none.  Wait.  Scratch that.  The chances are just none.  Half the time I can't even get quiet enough to hear the whisper.

Last night, our family was talking about fears.  We made lists.  There was no way I was going to share my ridiculously long and growing list with them, but I did share that it was more complex than it would have been a year ago.  I used to be afraid of stuff like deep water... and tumbleweeds.  It just occurred to me that these things are metaphors.  For me, fear often manifests itself in feeling like I'm drowning or blown about, out of control.  But the truth is, what I really want is to be so in line with God, so filled with the Holy Spirit, that my own desires are the Lord's.  When I wake up and those wishes and hopes rush at me, I want them to be the voice of the other.  In part, I want this because it's right, but in part I also want it because I am sick of being afraid that I won't be good enough, and I'm done fighting for something I don't even really want.

This Scripture also resonated, today:

"May God be gracious to us and bless us and make his face shine on us - so that your ways may be known on earth, your salvation among the nations" (Psalm 67:1-2, NIV).

I'm done fighting for everything I think I want... for myself...

In the often repeated, wise words of Robert Mulholland, Spiritual formation is, "the process of being conformed to the image of Christ for the sake of others."

For... the... sake... of... others...

Still true.

L.