I ran across this article, some time ago, and I have
been trying to adopt its principles:
It's pretty simple, really. If your crisis is the biggest one, you get to
say whatever you want to whomever you want.
If you're crisis is smaller, you need to know when it is appropriate to
speak. It's not that your crisis doesn't
matter. It's just that someone who is
dealing with a larger crisis can't take on your
pain. And that's OK.
Sometimes I forget that I am not in the center of
the crisis circle. Oh friends, let's be
real. I pray that I am never in the center of the crisis
circle! It is so incredibly easy to lose
perspective.
A friend of mine posted this quote, today, and it
resonated far deeper than I wanted it to:
"We
thought it was a rough patch, but it turned out to be our life."
- Bruce Eric Kaplan
I wasn't even sure how to react to this. The words so closely echoed my own, from last
year, when I kept saying, "We're
just going through a rough time, right now." But then it didn't let up. I have very intentionally
not uttered this phrase lately, even though it continues to resound.
Here's the truth.
This afternoon, I do not have what I need, and I know this is a horrible
thing to say.
However, I have so many friends who are suffering in
ways far greater than my own, today. They
are suffering in ways in which I cannot empathize, and the truth is I'm glad,
because I don't really want to feel
that kind of pain. I do want to come
alongside them and support them and lift them up, but it's like comparing loss
of life to paper cuts.
It's not that my paper cuts don't matter. It's just that they're not that severe. I'm surviving. That has to count for something.
I keep thinking that it would be exceptionally
helpful to have someone from a bigger circle to sit down with, someone on which
to dump all of my pain, all of my grief, all of my crisis; but I don't actually
think that's what I need. Maybe,
instead, I need to lean into who I am and keep absorbing the pain of others
that comes from smaller circles where the crisis is so devastating. Because, that's
what I do best...
I
Thessalonians 5:11, "Therefore encourage one another and build each other
up, just as in fact you are doing" (NIV).
Matthew 6:9-13, "This, then, is how you should pray: 'Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.'" (NIV).
Psalm
61:1, "Hear my cry, O God;
listen to my prayer" (NIV).
L.
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