Recently, and probably especially since it's an election
year, I have run across a lot of quotes, memes, personal communications, etc.
that seem to indicate that we should surround ourselves with people who think
in exactly the same ways we do, because this is how to protect ourselves from
being influenced by others. This is how
to prevent change. If you're looking for
a safe life, you might consider taking this advice. I don't really do safe.
So, here's the deal.
As a general rule, I make friends and
adversaries quickly. It seems that I
am a first impression kind of person, which is sort of sad, because I am also a
little bit slow to warm. On the rare
chance that people give me a shot at a second or third impression, I do pretty
well with that, but we live in an instant gratification world, so I have a few
very good friends who, mercifully, loved me immediately, and then there are a
whole lot of people who are OK with the fact that I mostly spend my life in
chameleon mode (Can I blend in with that wall?
If I sit here, will I be invisible?
Oh crap... I'm in my purple
flower pants...).
Sara and I met over twenty years ago. We never really liked each other. The truth is, we never really knew each other. But let's face it, after twenty years, the
odds were definitely against us ever being friends. Something like a zillion to none.
And then something weird happened...
A couple of years ago, Sara and I found ourselves in the
same place at the same time, and we had a couple of civil exchanges. It seemed groundbreaking to me. I sent her a facebook friend request,
because... you know... we had spoken words.
She accepted it. I started to see
tiny glimpses into her life. She started
to read this blog. It occurred to us
that we didn't have entirely polarized views on everything in the world. We
were sort of nice to each other.
I don't really understand what happened next, but before I
knew it she was one of the half dozen people on the planet who might occasionally
send me a text. Her name started making
the list of people to include in a group message when I was in crisis. The facebook algorithm people started
sticking her face in the "bestie" slot. And in the middle of my soul care days in
January she suggested that we make a trip to Disney World together. I laughed.
Then I checked flight prices.
I never, ever thought we would be friends, but there we were
on Splash Mountain...
You want to know this story.
Really, you do.
Sara and I do not agree on everything. As an example, Sara thinks that when it is 70
degrees out, it feels like 5. For
whatever reason, she thinks this is a terrible time to ride something that
might leave her cold and wet. She might
have called me an idiot as we got in line... and as I boarded the front row...
and as we ascended the lift to the final drop.
Oh... wait... she didn't call me an idiot during that last part, because
she was too busy praying to the animatronic vultures in hopes that the ride
would shut down, but I digress... This unlikely friend of mine seriously took
her sweatshirt off (I couldn't even figure out why she needed a sweatshirt... I was dying of heat stroke in my cami),
rolled it up, stuck it under one of her other many layers, and proceeded to talk
to it throughout the entire ride, referring to it as "sweatshirt
baby". By the time she uttered the
words, "This is the dumbest thing that has ever happened to me," I
was laughing so hard I was crying, because honestly... being friends with Sara
might actually be the dumbest thing that has ever happened to me!
And with that, I would like to encourage you to do dumb things. Really.
John
13:35, "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love
one another" (NIV).
Love is not rational. Friendship is risky. I mean, she could have killed me in my sleep,
this weekend (There was some brief reference to how she would probably go to Disney with a serial killer, but I'm trying not to be offended...). But she didn't, and now I
have a very good friend that I would have missed, completely, if I had insisted
on a monochromatic life.
Sara and I probably have much more common
ground than we would have imagined. We
probably have much more common ground than anyone
would have imagined. In fact, we
spent some time wondering what our mutual friends must be thinking as we posted
pictures of our weekend trip. There are
probably some people who had jaw dropping moments. There might be a few people who are wondering
if they need to make a countermove, because, quite frankly, the two of us being
friends might be a little bit frightening.
It shakes the status quo. There
is no telling what kind of trouble we might cause. Seriously.
But here's the thing. If you take a chance on being the kind of
disciples who set aside non-essentials to love one another, good things begin
to happen. Heck, I even think I could
set aside essentials in order to show love at this point. It doesn't mean that you stop having
convictions or opinions. It means that
you are kind even when you interact with people who are different than
you. Think on this. There is probably no one in the entire world
who agrees with you about everything. If
you're only willing to associate with people who are just like you, it's going
to be a very lonely life.
L.
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