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Monday, January 18, 2016

True Confession: I Am a Lousy Receiver

In the spirit of "Ministry Monday" posts, I would like to share that someone, somewhere, once told me that, in ministry, you must learn to be a gracious receiver (as much as a gracious giver).  If I could remember who told me this, I would cite him or her.  I can't remember, but I really wish I could...

Today marked PT appointment number two for me.  It's a good thing, too, because somehow between the first one, last week, and this one; I managed to hurt myself again... or more... or maybe I just aggravated something... or whatever.  As it turns out, my sacrum was twisted (let's just assume you don't really want an anatomy lesson).  Sweet!  At least I know why I cannot walk without considerable pain.  I like details, so as my (I'm claiming her now) physical therapist proceeded to twist my spine back into place... again...  I asked, "How did this happen?  Because I really didn't do anything weird."  Her answer left me silent for a few minutes.  This is what she said...

"You're more flexible than most people but not as strong as you need to be.  It's a painful combination but not dangerous."

I know she was talking about my spine, but I couldn't help but think of how true these words are for my spirit, as well.  Ouch. 

I do not like feeling needy.  I do not like needing help.  I do not like it when people tell me that I cannot do something.  But the truth is, even when I am stomping my feet and slamming doors (both of which may have happened, today), it is nice when someone steps in and offers to rescue me... at least once in awhile.  Every day would grate on my nerves pretty quickly.

And so, Hebrews 4:16, "Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need" (NIV). 

Over the course of my life, I have thought a lot about Isaiah's, "Here I am, send me" (Isaiah 6:8, NIV).  Today, I think my prayer sounds more like, "Here I am, send help," but I know it is only for a time.

Ironically, as it turns out, the best thing I can do for my physical body to permanently correct this pain is to keep moving.  Huh.  I think I can do that...


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