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Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Enough



This post started out exceptionally long.  I hope I have left enough of it intact to make sense...

Today I had lunch with my good friend, Katie, and her mom, Sue.  I often spend time with friends on Wednesdays, to such an extent that Katie and I started jokingly calling it "Wednesday Friendsday".  It stuck... probably because it rhymes.  I know it is extraordinarily corny, but you can pretend it's witty if you want to make me feel good.  At any rate, at some point I found myself explaining the principles of "Wednesday Friendsday" to Sue, which prompted her to say, "Oh... so this is the day you do visitation."

I was stunned.

Before that moment, I would have said that this is the day I do local coffee shops and Chinese restaurants and Planet Fitness.  But actually, she's right.  For a variety of reasons, this sort of hit me in the heart.

Then Sue said, "That's really nice, because some people don't have time for others."

This left me still sitting there in silence, trying to make sure I control the tears that are springing to my eyes, because surely they will not make any sense to anyone, and... ya know... fear of crying in public and everything...

And then, because I guess what I needed, today, was for a mother of six to speak some convicting and soothing words to my heart, she went on.

She said, "I never had time to do what you're doing, because once the kids were older I went to work."

I grunted and replied, "Well, for me, it's not for lack of trying..."

Whew...  emotional warm fuzzies over... navigation successful...

But she wasn't finished.

"No," she said, "I gave fifteen years of my life to a company, and in hindsight I wish I could have done what you're doing."

I had to stop for a moment to consider exactly what it is that I'm doing. 

I am living in relationship with people.  I am getting to know people at various business establishments in my community.  I am listening to people.  I am loving people.  And I am darn good at what I do.  Before anyone feels the need to comment with #Pride, please don't misunderstand.  There is no title for what I do.  It's not recognized by anyone, really, as work.  It will never flesh out a resume.  It will never count as a skill.  It won't pay the rent.  It will never set me apart from a field of job candidates.  But that's OK, because when Sue said, "Thank you for including me," that was enough. 

These words, "God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.  We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, so that what you hope for may be fully realized.  We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised" (Hebrews 6:10-12, NIV).

God is enough.

I also read these words, today, and I didn't think of myself, "My friends and companions avoid me because of my wounds; my neighbors stay far away" (Psalm 38:11, NIV).  I have been blessed with some people who do not avoid me, even when my wounds are deep and my story is ugly.  Not everyone has this.  I will listen to the ugly stories of the deeply wounded.

I am enough.

And if you had any idea what I think of myself on most days... well... that's a big deal.

You, also, are enough.  Go do whatever it is that God made you good at.

L.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for these thoughts. You don't know me (although we probably have more than one mutual acquaintance) and I don't know your back story, but I want you to know that I appreciate the privilege of sharing some of your journey through your blog. You encourage me.

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