As I have struggled to find a rhythm and
liturgy that work well for me, I have done some bouncing between the RCL and
BCP daily offices. Upon choosing to
return to the BCP, this church year, it took longer than it should have for it
to dawn on me that this means I will be studying the same Scriptures, morning
to morning, that I studied two years ago… when I also used the BCP… When I
started the year off with 48 straight days of posting and then took a moment to
consider whether or not I was the best person for the job, as my already
precarious world tilted just a little bit too far off its axis. But I woke up on day 50 and wrote again.
If you’re new to this blog, welcome. Let me tell you a few quirky things about
myself, so we get off on the right foot.
Sometimes people worry that I share too
much… that I am an open book. This is
probably because I have chosen to obliterate the filters that often cause us to
spin our narratives in such a way that we look more like super heroes than
human beings. If you ever find yourself
reading something here and think, “She is so unaware,” please refer back to
this paragraph, where I freely admit that I am completely aware of what I am doing. If you ever stumbled upon the things I write
but keep locked away for no other day,
you would understand. Every word… every
phrase… is intentional. This does not
imply that I don’t sometimes share more than is comfortable or say things that
cross an invisible line in the shifting sand, but when I do; rest assured, I
know I’m doing it.
No, there is no need to worry about the
amount of information I publish but rather about the vast number of things I do
not. It’s not when I am speaking that
you should be concerned but when I am silent.
This is the real gauge of whether or not I am OK...
I fully expect that as I re-navigate these
passages, they will cause me to reflect on not so distant, but just out of
reach, past interpretations and contexts.
Let’s start with this:
Ephesians
4:1, “I therefore, the prisoner in the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of
the calling to which you have been called” (NRSV).
I am the right person for this job… for
this being me… because it is exactly that to which I have been called. And I would imagine if you stop to consider
whether or not you are the right person for being you; you will find the same
answer I did. You are.
Two years ago, I was clinging to passages
of fear in hopes that my greatest fears would be alleviated by them. Remember #LessFearIn2016? It has evolved:
Psalm
34: 4-5, 18, 22, “I sought the Lord, and he answered me, and delivered me from all
my fears. Look to him, and be radiant; so your faces shall never
be ashamed… The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the
crushed in spirit… The Lord redeems the life of his
servants; none of those who take refuge in him will be
condemned” (NRSV).
These particular words (among others)
reminded me that I am a “now what” kind of person. They are the rest of the story. Yesterday’s verses prompted me to remember
that I am sought. Today’s prompt me to
remember to seek… and then to act. For
although I once lived in fear… and although I know all too well what it is to
be brokenhearted and crushed in spirit… redemption is coming, and redemption is
here. #NoShame #Fearless
L.
No comments:
Post a Comment