Joy

Psalm 94:18-19, "When I said, 'My foot is slipping,' your unfailing love, Lord, supported me.  When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy" (NIV).

Hold that thought for just a minute...

In John chapter 3, It's interesting that John describes his joy as complete when his friends come to him, concerned that Jesus might be taking too much of the spotlight.  This was never a problem for John.  Preparing the way was what John was created to do.  I think we sometimes misunderstand the concept of consolation.  This is probably because we have used the term to define things like the prize you get when you didn't win.  Consolation has been twisted to mean a pat on the back, that moment in which you take second place, the participation trophy.  But John didn't see it that way.  For John, it was likely a relief.  He responds to his friends saying, "He must become greater; I must become less" (John 3:30, NIV). 

If I'm honest, most of the time I don't really want to become less...

And then... sometimes... it's the best feeling in the world to know that someone else is stepping in to support my slipping feet and anxious heart.  There is no comfort for me in knowing that there are things I cannot control, but there is comfort in knowing that God is present and holds me together (sometimes quite literally) in the midst of such things.

I wish I could go as far as to say this brings me joy, today.  The truth is, I'm walking through one of those incredibly anxious, good grief I feel like I'm going to throw up every time I roll out of bed, times of life.  I expect that will pass and I'll be alright... soon... just not quite yet... 

Joy is a little elusive at the moment, but perhaps I can begin with survival.  I think the consolation of the Lord, the part where he becomes greater and I become less and somehow that keeps me from falling apart, will do for today. 

L.