I have made no resolutions.
However...
Our family has just a few more Sacred Days left, and that time will be followed by Epiphany, which, for me, will begin with
some Soul Care Days that I
desperately need. Mostly, I need them
desperately because all of the Soul Care Days I took, last year, were saturated
with crisis management, and I think I can get away for a few days, now, without
that kind of distraction. When those
days draw to a close, I will jump back into school (mine and the kids') with
both feet. I cannot think of a better
way to enter into Ordinary Time.
I need an ordinary year, really. I know that's the sort of thing that most
people don't wish for, but it sounds amazing to me. More than anything, I need to reset the rhythms
of my life and to spend my time on the people and things that are central to
being the person I was created to be in view of the redemptive work to which
God calls us to join in.
This morning, I read a post by Derek Webb that struck a
chord with me in so many ways. What
resonated the most were his thoughts on personal liturgy. He wrote that there are, "things that I
don't necessarily or always believe, but I show up to recite again and again in
hopes of believing them... so I'll go on reciting and adding to my liturgy in
hopes of believing the words, because I wish to. More than ever, I wish to." This has caused me to think deeply about some
words found in Scripture, "I do believe; help me overcome my
unbelief" (Mark 9:24, NIV).
So often, I find myself in this place where belief and
unbelief seem to be at war within me.
I'm not sure the very best plan is to "fake it 'til I make
it," but sometimes things do become truth to us if we say them enough
times. And so I will...
L.
