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Wednesday, August 23, 2017

On Flights and Fear



I’m completely preoccupied with time, these days.  Last week I wrote a piece about the passage of time and how… maybe… it doesn’t heal all things, but today I am at odds with myself over this.  It’s probably because I’m booking flights.

I used to be terrified of flying.  I flew a couple of times as a kid (my mom was visibly terrified on the flights, so that probably didn’t help).  I flew to Florida with one of my kids, once, because she had an event there and friends gave us free tickets.  In the first 35 years of my life, I flew a total of 14 times.  Then my life changed, and in addition to new responsibilities; saving travel time became a priority. 

Two years ago, I boarded a flight to Portland, OR and had a mini-panic attack as I took my seat.  I then proceeded to fly 18 times (many of them alone) over the next 18 months.  Maybe this is specifically on my mind because one of the flights I booked, today, is to Portland again.  Maybe it’s because I am actually waiting a couple of days to book another flight, because I want my rewards points to clear, so I can fly free!  It is so weird that this is exciting.  I’m not certain whether it was time or experience or something different altogether that changed my perspective, but the truth is I now love flying.  I did not see that coming.

I have been thinking (and talking) a lot about the “big fish in a little pond” concept, lately, and I came across this quote the other day that resonated incredibly deeply:

“We can't be afraid of change. You may feel very secure in the pond that you are in, but if you never venture out of it, you will never know that there is such a thing as an ocean, a sea. Holding onto something that is good for you now, may be the very reason why you don't have something better.” - C. JoyBell C.

I’m going to have the opportunity to essentially fly coast to coast, this fall, taking in both the Pacific Ocean and the Atlantic Ocean in less than a week’s time.  As a side note; since water also used to be one of my greatest fears, I think I may have lived into my mantra for last year, #LessFearIn2016, quite well, because I’m incredibly excited about a sea to sea soul care and vision casting trip, bookended by theological “business” and people I really like!  I sometimes stop to shake my head, asking the question, “Whose life is this?” 

Ironically, it’s mine… 

And so, it’s late August.  Per normal, I am not where I thought I’d be, but I’m so glad I’m here…

L.

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