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Saturday, June 24, 2017

My Heart Hurts

I’m honestly not sure how much more my heart can take, this week.  It is raw.

It’s Sacramental Saturday at FGT, and I am dumbfounded, because I spent hours, yesterday, worshipping with people from my tribe who are deeply devoted to worship that includes (and is very often centered around) the Eucharistic meal and the grace it imparts, instituted by Jesus, commanded of us if we seek to both properly remember his death and go out, filled with his life.

This morning, one of the first things I saw was an angry message indicating that I do not, in fact, respect or take the Catholic Church seriously, because I participate in the Eucharist.  After doing my very best to answer this concern with grace and love, I just sat down and cried (OK…  let’s be real…  I didn’t actually wait to cry.  I cried as I typed the response.  Then I cried some more.  And some more.  And some more.)

I would think that I’m pretty close to out of tears, but they just keep coming.  Some have been good: Some have been terrible.  At the very least, the floodgates are damaged, but I am beginning to think they have washed away, altogether.

But at least I’m broken.  It’s necessary if we want to be like Jesus.


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